If this were Oregon Trail, the Knicks would have just died of dysentery


The f—— Knicks, man. Only the Knicks. You’ve probably seen it by now, but Knicks legend and fan favorite Charles Oakley was forcibly removed from Madison Square Garden last night during their game against the Clippers. Oakley was seen shoving security personnel near team owner James Dolan before being handcuffed and escorted out of the stadium.

The Knicks then offered this weak a– s— regarding the incident:

Oakley offered his side of the story after the game and unsurprisingly proclaimed his innocence stating that he was kicked out for no reason.

#CHARLESOAKLEY #NyKnicks #Jimmy's #eatdrinkparty #IknowJimmy #Jimmysnyc #espn #cnn #nypost

A video posted by Jimmy's (@jimmysbxcafe) on

Generally, stuff like this should be taken with a grain of salt. Obviously, Oakley isn’t going to incriminate himself. However, is anybody actually surprised by this? Is anybody surprised that Dolan would order security to remove Oakley — who called Dolan a “motherf——” and a “bad guy” back in 2015 — from the game for no reason other than that he hates Oakley? That’s so James Dolan and that’s so Knicks.

Earlier I wrote that the Knicks were turning into a really bad game of Oregon Trail. Well if this were Oregon Trail, then the Knicks just died of dysentery. This level of dysfunction is absolutely abhorrent. The dysentery of dysfunction. We’ve got Derrick Rose skipping games without telling anybody. We’ve got Phil Jackson taking shots at Carmelo Anthony on Twitter. We’ve got Spike Lee saying that he will “pack Phil’s bags.” And now we’ve got a Knicks legend and one of the most popular players in team history being forcibly removed from the stadium for apparently no reason at all. These guys are making the Chicago Bulls look functional.

This is full-blown, out of control, rampant dysentery. Everyone in the Knicks wagon and all of their oxen will be infected. This is showing up to the field with 1000 bullets, taking down 5,000 lbs. worth of bison, only being able to carry back 100 lbs. of it, and then having to eat squirrels for the rest of winter. Willy Hernangomez CANNOT survive on squirrels all winter!

Also, this just in, you don’t f— with Charles Oakley.

There are seven billion people on Earth I’d rather f— with than Charles Oakley. Watch your goddamn back, Dolan. You done messed with the wrong dude. #FreeOakley


About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.