Where the f— is Carson Palmer right now?


The biggest mystery trending right now is where the f— Arizona Cardinals quarterback Carson Palmer is. Not since Derrick Rose or Carmen Sandiego has the whereabouts of an individual been of such a concern to me.

So the story goes that Carson Palmer put his home up for sale, pulled his kids out of school, packed up the old RV, and moved his family out of Arizona.

This was potentially a sign that at 37 years old, Carson Palmer was ready to hang ’em up. It hardly came as much of a surprise as there had been talk that he was going to call it a career after a season in which his arm looked weaker than ever and he got sacked 40 times behind the Cardinals depleted offensive line.

But wait! This according to ESPN’s Josh Weinfuss:

And then this straight from the mystery man himself:

Just another twist in the case of Carson Sandiego. It may all just be a ruse to throw us off the quarterback’s trail, but what we apparently do know is that Palmer is off with his family on “adventures.” Whether those adventures are permanent or not remain in question.

The Cardinals would probably like to know of his permanent whereabouts because finding a quarterback in the NFL is one of the more difficult tasks in sports right now. It’s how you end up desperately giving $72 million dollars to Brock Osweiler and setting your franchise back a decade.

A simple solution to all of this is to drive by Carsons’s house and see if there is a sign in front of it. That’s probably a good indication of whether his house is up for sale or not.


About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.