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The Informer’s 2017 Royal Rumble Preview

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Ladies and gentlemen without any further Haku, here is The Informer’s 2017 Royal Rumble Preview: The list of Royal Rumble lists edition.

The Informer’s Five Favorite Royal Rumble Moments

1. Macho Man Eliminates the Macho Man, or Does He?

Do you all remember when this happened? During the 1992 Royal Rumble the Macho Man jumped over the top rope into a pile of bodies like a deranged lunatic effectively eliminating himself from the match. Only, since he is the Macho Man and obviously was not supposed to eliminate himself, Savage just decided to jump back into the ring as if nothing happened. The best part of the whole scenario is it actually worked and Macho Man continued wrestling while the refs were none the wiser. It was classic Macho Man and easily one of my all-time favorite Rumble moments.

2. Ric Flair’s 1992 Royal Rumble Promo

I’m going to tell you all . . . With a tear in my eye . . . Ric Flair’s promo after winning the 1992 Royal Rumble to become the WWF World Champion is still one of the best moments in the history of professional wrestling.

https://youtu.be/HNvoT1BFOHY

3. Co-Winners

At the end of the 1994 Royal Rumble, Lex Luger and Brett Hart went over the top rope and landed on the floor at the exact same time which left mass confusion throughout the wrestling world. Now since there was no clear winner, WWF President Jack Tunney made the controversial decision that the match would end with both Hart and Lugar winning (a Bud Selig move if I’ve ever seen one). This meant for the first and only time in WWE history there were co-Rumble winners.

https://youtu.be/MZTm75yOtsk

4. Shawn Michaels Goes the Distance

In the 1995 Royal Rumble, the British Bulldog thought he had eliminated the great Shawn Michaels by throwing him over the top rope. However, little did the Bulldog know that only one of Shawn’s feet had hit the floor (Rumble rules clearly state that in order to be eliminated both feet must touch the ground). This of course led to Michaels “skinning the cat” (which means pulling himself back into the ring) before throwing the Bulldog out to become the first person to win the Rumble after being the first entrant.

https://youtu.be/fhGKFkKFYDY

5Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior Come Face-to-Face

If you don’t think the Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan staring each other down for the very first time at the 1990 Royal Rumble was one of the greatest moments in the history of the Royal Rumble then I don’t think we can be friends.

https://youtu.be/HSwf5guXOA4

The Informer’s Five Favorite Royal Rumble Winners

1. Shawn Michaels (1995)

When was the last time the Royal Rumble winner had music like this?

https://youtu.be/cYE1mxBRWxo

2. Shawn Michaels (1996)

All I am saying is the dude does have the moves that drive the girls — and some 32-year-old married drunk men — wild.

3. Brett Hart (1994)

Technically Brett co-won, but as they say in hand shoes and horse grenades; a win is a win.

John Cena (2008)

John Cena returned six months early to shock the world and win the Rumble. How can you not like that?

https://youtu.be/Z62ubpUyeyo

5. Edge (2010)

In Edge’s final Royal Rumble ever (he was forced to retire with a neck injury right after Wrestlemania), the “Rated-R Superstar” was able to outlast 29 other men to win the Rumble for his first and last time.

https://youtu.be/KwwehEJSm4U

The Informer’s Five Least Favorite Royal Rumble Winners

1. Bootista (2014)

A part-time wrestling Bootista winning the Royal Rumble over fan favorite Daniel Bryan? Everyone say it with me: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

https://youtu.be/onJBMQlMlIo

2. Albert Del Rio (2011)

They should change his name to Alberto BOOOOOOOOO Rio (Get it? Cause just like Bootista no one in the world wanted Del Rio to win a Royal Rumble).

3. Sheamus (2012)

They should change his name to BOOOOOOOOO-Sheamus (Get it? Cause just like Bootista no one in the world wanted Sheamus to win a Royal Rumble).

https://youtu.be/jPq9IZdQaNI

4. Vince McMahon (1999)

Pretty self explanatory.

https://youtu.be/JUxvx0Qu6iE

5. Big John Stud (1989)

How does Hulk Hogan not win the first Royal Rumble ever?

https://youtu.be/p2VHKSXJboo

 

Okay, that is enough with the past. How about we close this thing out with two lists about the upcoming 2017 Royal Rumble?

Five Things That Better Happen On Sunday Or Else The Informer Will Riot

1. Kevin Owens stays the WWE Universal Champion.

2. Samoa Joe makes his WWE debut.

3. A “not in the Royal Rumble” Seth Rollins eliminates Triple H from the Rumble.

4. Brock Lesnar and Goldberg clear the ring with only one man left to enter the Rumble. With 20 seconds left on the countdown clock before No. 30 is announced, Lesnar and Goldberg double eliminate themselves. This means that whoever the 30th entrant is will automatically win the 2017 Royal Rumble.

5. As the clock strikes zero, the music of the 30th entrant to the 2017 Royal Rumble —  and the man who is going to headline Wrestlemania — hits and it is none other than the returning Olympic hero we all love and respect, Kurt Angle. #AngleWinsOrWeRiot

https://youtu.be/HH35youXIls

The Informer’s Two Favorite Fantasy Booking Storylines That Should Happen On Sunday

1. Shawn Michaels makes a shocking return to the Rumble after being retired by the Undertaker seven years ago at Wrestlemania. He then proceeds to get his revenge by eliminating the Undertaker followed by Michaels stomping a mud hole into Taker’s lifeless corpse. This of course would set up a match at WrestleMania where if Michaels beats Taker the “Deadman” has to retire, but if Taker wins he gets to keep Michaels’ soul for the rest of eternity; meaning the “Heart Break Kid” will never get to “Rest in Peace”.

2. During the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, AJ Styles’ two best friends — Anderson and Gallows — come down to interfere at the end of the Styles-Cena five-star classic. Only instead of helping Styles win, they are there to help John Cena win his “Ric Flair tying” 16th WWE World Championship. As Cena looks on from the floor confused after the match, Anderson and Gallows beat the holy hell out of Styles. But, because Cena is the good guy of all good guys, John jumps into the ring to save Styles which causes Anderson and Gallows to retreat. Asthe crowd is cheering on new champion Cena for doing the right thing, he helps Styles to his feat before delivering an attitude adjustment from hell cementing the fact that John Cena just pulled a Hulk Hogan and turned his back on professional wrestling by joining up with the likes of Anderson and Gallows. Finally, as the crowd starts throwing trash at the traitor John Cena, Mene Gene Okerlund makes his way to the ring to ask what in the hell Cena was thinking? Cena tells Mene Gene that Anderson and Gallows are the future of professional wrestling and that you can now consider them to be the new bullet club organization of the world –brother!

Honestly, I don’t know if Michael’s return to exact revenge on the “Deadman” and Cena’s shocking heel turn are the two greatest ideas I have ever come up with, or if I need to re-evaluate my life choices, but one thing is for sure; they would both definitely be best for Royal Rumble business.

 

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About Author

Since 2003 The Informer has written for newspapers, websites and blogs with one goal in mind: Write a funny and informative sports article unlike anything that has been written before.