The New York Knicks are turning into a really bad game of Oregon Trail


Oregon Trail, the most cut-throat educational children’s computer game of all-time, basically taught elementary-aged children that dysentery will kill you, you can’t carry 500 lbs. of bison, and that you should never — and I mean never — attempt to ford the river with your oxen.

The current state of new York Knicks basketball has pretty much turned into a bad game of Oregon Trail which culminated with Derrick Rose’s mysterious absence from Monday’s game against the Pelicans and an embarrassing blowout loss. According to teammate Joakim Noah, Rose is apparently “OK.”

It’s unclear why Rose failed to show up to the game without informing the team, but theories have ranged from his unhappiness about being benched in the fourth quarter the game before to a return to Chicago because the “distance from his son is weighing heavily on him.” Regardless of Rose’s Carmen Sandiegan-like disappearance, the Knicks season has turned into a complete sh**show.

The Pelicans at home seemed to be a decent spot to pick up a W, but they ended up trailing by nearly 30 points in the middle of the third quarter and Anthony Davis dropped a 40 spot on them. Carmelo Anthony seemingly didn’t feel like playing basketball anymore with his team down 19 so he got himself ejected for the THIRD TIME this season.

This is the point in Oregon Trail where everyone in your wagon gets the measles and you get lost on the trail for five days. All the buffalo are dead because you killed them all, but you still have no food because Derrick Rose’s frail body could only carry 50 lbs. at a time and making multiple trips was just too much stress on the knees. Now you’re eating squirrels and rabbits and rationing off Willy Hernangomez’ portions to the “more important wagonmates.”  In a week or — if you’re really lucky maybe even two — half of your wagon will be dead which is sad, but it’s also what happens when you just throw a bunch of guys together and hope everything clicks. In reality, the Knicks were always doomed, but their decent start gave people some hope that this whole thing might actually work.

For nearly two months things were OK, but then came the harsh winters of the Oregon Trail and the flaws of the New York Knicks began to surface. They play no defense. Like at all. They’ve held opponents to under 100 points only four times this entire season. Kristaps Porzingis is clearly their future, but isn’t used in the capacity he needs to be with Melo around. Rose and Noah have both shown signs of their once elite forms, but the consistency is completely gone. At this point in their careers, they are injury-riddled veterans that are more name than game. Phil Jackson and Melo certainly don’t see eye-to-eye. Melo and head coach Jeff Hornacek might not either.

The Knicks get the Sixers on Wednesday and they should really win that game because it’s the Sixers. If they don’t…

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About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.