Every year I host the legendary Czar’s fantasy football league (12-team, half PPR) as one of my many alter-egos, Czarko Milicic. Traditionally, each and every peasant has a trash team and I make sure to let them know about it. This year was especially trashy.
Team Commish (Sophomore Peasant): Pick 7
Our good friend Commissioner Gordon enters his second season in the Czar’s after an uneventful rookie campaign. Let’s take a look at the damage:
|The Hebrew Hammer|
|1.||(7)||DeAndre Hopkins (Hou – WR)|
|2.||(18)||Keenan Allen (SD – WR)|
|3.||(31)||T.Y. Hilton (Ind – WR)|
|4.||(42)||Jeremy Langford (Chi – RB)|
|5.||(55)||Jonathan Stewart (Car – RB)|
|6.||(66)||Coby Fleener (NO – TE)|
|7.||(79)||Frank Gore (Ind – RB)|
|8.||(90)||Blake Bortles (Jax – QB)|
|9.||(103)||Kamar Aiken (Bal – WR)|
|10.||(114)||Arizona (Ari – DEF)|
|11.||(127)||James White (NE – RB)|
|12.||(138)||Michael Thomas (NO – WR)|
|13.||(151)||Sammie Coates (Pit – WR)|
|14.||(162)||Will Fuller (Hou – WR)|
|15.||(175)||Cairo Santos (KC – K)|
WR heavy is a nice strategy in the first three rounds. Hard to argue with any of those picks, but T.Y. Hilton is going to need to prove that his poor 2015 with Andrew Luck on the field was just an aberration. Things got a little more interesting in the fourth round when Commish made Jeremy Langford his first running back. Running backs on garbage teams tend to spell bad news, but the Bears are a clear exception due to them being garbage for quite awhile and consistently returning elite value on Matt Forte for years. Langford showed flashes of what he could do without Forte last year and it’s well worth a fourth rounder to find out if he can keep doing that.
Now for Jonathan Stewart who nobody in the history of fantasy football has ever been excited to draft. Anybody who drafts this guy — no matter what round — drafts him like they are being forced to do so while being held at gunpoint. Looking past the fact that Stewart has played a complete season zero times since 2011 and has all the durability of a carnival goldfish, Stewart failed to reach 1,000 yards and only had seven total touchdowns as the Panthers featured easily the highest (and likely an unsustainable) level of offense that the franchise has ever seen. A “resurgent” Jonathan Stewart who had his “best year since 2009” had ten more points than James Starks last season. This makes him worthy of a fifth round pick though. Never draft Jonathan Stewart. I trust Ryan Lochte more than him.
Let’s see what else went down:
- Coby Fleener in the sixth round is pretty laughable. You just don’t draft a guy who smiles like this. That’s a terrifying smile. I’m also still not convinced his name isn’t “Colby.” I once debated that for like twenty minutes. The good news for Fleener is that he’s on the Saints now and Drew Brees even turned Benjamin Watson into a top 10 tight end last season. The bad news is that Coby Fleener is still Coby Fleener and he will probably disappoint as he always has whenever anything was expected of him.
- Frank Gore was drafted in the seventh round of the Czar’s league nearly 240 years after being drafted in the first round of the Revolutionary War. Pretty remarkable.
- Blake Bortles will attempt to become the first Jaguars QB EVER — in the history of the f****** franchise — to throw 20 touchdown passes in back-to-back seasons. That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever written in my entire life.
- Matthew Berry is really high on Kamar Aiken. That’s all that needs to be said.
- We’ll see how long James White lasts when Belichick decides to pull a fast one on his fantasy league and feature a different passing back.
- The Saints’ Michael Thomas has all the makings of the next Devery Henderson.
- Sammie Coates probably won’t be all that good on the field, but this is a good pick because every fantasy team needs some swag and Sammie Coates is straight swag. Dude’s a G.
Draft Grade: B
Predicted Finish: 5th Place