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Kwame Brown’s agency wrote the most ABSURD sentences ever read regarding his potential NBA comeback

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If someone were to a conduct a Family Feud style “Name an NBA Draft bust” survey, the No. 1 answer would undoubtedly be Kwame Brown. You’d get over 50 points for that s***. The former first overall pick in the 2001 NBA Draft out of high school by Michael Jordan and the Washington Wizards was by no means good, but he was also not the worst player ever taken with a top three pick by any stretch. Greg Oden, Darko Milicic, Anthony Bennett, Hasheem Thabeet, Adam Morrison, Michael Olowokandi, Darius Miles … all of these guys may have been worse than Kwame Brown who played 12 seasons in the NBA and believe it or not actually had a career field goal percentage that hovered around 50%.

However, Kwame Brown is largely considered the biggest draft bust in NBA history and a lot of that has to do with possibly the greatest segment of television in the history of the world. Take it away Stephen A.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PP4RT-vv-o

This was everything Stephen A. Smith was supposed to be. I have watched this segment dozens of times and it never, ever gets old. To this day I still call people BONAFIDE SCRUBS. KWA-MAY BROWN IS GONE! THROW A PARADE! What a line. Kwame can thank Stephen A. Smith for making him one of the biggest NBA punchlines in the history of basketball. His play on the court played a complimentary role, but Stephen A. just took it over the top.

Now Kwame Brown is reportedly eyeing a comeback to the NBA via Interperformances.com which is an agency that apparently hasn’t watched any NBA basketball this millennium:

“Interperformances is proud to announce that the NBA star Kwame Brown decided to sign with our agency. The #1 overall pick  of the 2001 draft is ready for a new life. His comeback can be the road to glory for a team that  believes in him. Kwame is back, physically healthy and ready to be the outstanding player he was on several NBA teams.
A great intimidator that can block shots , rebound consistently and explode in devastating dunks. No longer the young man that entered the NBA, Kwame is now an experienced  and mature player and man. And he’s back, for the love of the game.”

Where to start. First of all, signing Kwame Brown to your agency is not something to brag about. That’s like bragging about having a STD.

Second, they called Kwame an “NBA star” which is just about the most absurd thing I’ve heard in my entire life.

Then there’s this:

“His comeback can be the road to glory for a team that believes in him.”

Did Kwame Brown write this himself? There is no possible way a human being not named Kwame Brown could have typed these sentences without dying of laughter.

“A great intimidator that can block shots, rebound consistently, and explode in devestating dunks.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueqGQIf9XLk

I’m not ruling out a Kwame Brown NBA comeback though. I’m really not. So here’s what I would expect.

The safe bet is probably on a max contract from the Lakers who have dedicated a combined $72 million to the lethal frontcourt duo of Timofey Mogov and Yi Jianlian. If Yi-Coli can get an $8 million contract in the NBA, I’m not ruling anything out. Not even a Kwame Brown comeback.

If — and that’s a big if — Kwame Brown does in fact make his way back into the NBA then I’d expect a Jordan-like comeback game in which he reverses his number from 54 to 45 and then puts up two and two on 1 of 5 shooting to go along with three turnovers in like seven minutes. That’s a Kwame Brown comeback game.

Let the Kwame Brown sweepstakes begin. I could only wish to be as overconfident in my own abilities as Interperformance is in Kwame Brown’s.

 

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About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of Leaveit2divac.com. He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.