Draymond Green accidentally Snapchatted his penis


Why wouldn’t Draymond Green’s terrible, no good, very bad, horrible off-season include an accidental Snapchat of his penis? Draymond’s penis surfaced on Snapchat for about 10 minutes Sunday afternoon and he tweeted this immediately after it had been removed.

OK, that’s obviously the lamest excuse in the book and Draymond knows it. He owned up to the Snapchat later:

“It was a situation where it was meant to be a private message,” Green said. “I kinda hit the wrong button and it sucks. It was meant to be private. We’re all one click away from placing something in the wrong place, and I suffered from that this morning.”


You kinda hit the wrong button, Draymond? No, you hit the wrong button. And yes, I suppose we are all one click away from placing something in the wrong place, but that something can only be a picture of your penis if you TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR PENIS! Why do professional athletes, or really anybody for that matter, do this? I’m sure that 95% of the time nobody, except the correct recipient, finds out about it. However, there’s that like 5% chance of you becoming the next Greg Oden and that should be f***** terrifying.

While I initially thought that this was Aldon Smith levels of intelligence on Draymond’s part, a Schmo renaissance man of sorts enlightened me and changed my perspective on the situation:

“But now when you google “Draymond dick” you won’t get a bunch of results for him being a dick or hitting people in the dick so really this is the opposite of a moron move by Draymond. He’s playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers.”

-The G-man

Wow, thanks G-Man. Well said. Way better to be known as a guy that has a dick as opposed to a guy that is a dick. This is conflict resolution. The remedy to all of Draymond Green’s postseason/off-season dick kicking and bar fighting and general douchiness. Draymond Green may actually be a goddamn genius.

If you absolutely must see a picture of Draymond’s Snapchat than Twitter user BALLGOD is here to satisfy all of your Draymond Green penis needs. (WARNING: OBVIOUSLY NSFW. You will see a picture of an erect penis if you click this).


About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.