Back in the day, Air Bud was all the rage because he was a golden retriever that could play basketball and catch footballs and spike volleyballs and hit baseballs. He was essentially doggy Bo Jackson. (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)
In addition to doing all these things, he also won the Women’s World Cup for Team USA in the appropriately named Air Bud: World Pup which was complete bulls*** as evidenced by the ending of the straight-to-DVD movie. The level of bulls*** that transpired in these final three minutes really gets me going so bear with me here. Let’s take a closer look:
- This movie was released in the year 2000 which means the U.S. Women won the World Cup in 1999 AND 2000. This isn’t possible considering the World Cup happens once every four years and leads me to believe that this entire story was possibly fabricated by Disney. Moving along.
- I can look past the fact that Buddy led his owner’s high school team to state championships in both the original Air Bud and Air Bud: Golden Receiver despite not being enrolled at the school or attending any classes (presumably). However, I cannot look past the fact that Air Bud was a BOY DOG playing in the WOMEN’S WORLD CUP! How could Team Norway not call bulls*** on this!?!?!?! How could this get past FIFA? What type of bribery occurred that allowed Team USA to carry a male canine as their backup goalie? A girl dog may have not made that save. Brianna Scurry sure as hell would not have made that save. There will forever be an asterisk next to Team USA’s 2000 Women’s World Cup Championship.
- And how about the announcers? “I don’t believe it! A dog! May not be a smart move…” Um, what? Did Team USA having a dog roaming their sidelines in a “K9” jersey and shin guards not raise any eyebrows like, “What the f*** is dog doing on the sidelines?” You even knew the dog’s LAST NAME! But this comes as a COMPLETE SURPRISE?! And not a smart move??? Did the story of a basketball and football-playing golden retriever that led his owner’s team to the state championship just slip national headline news? How could you possibly doubt any coach’s decision to bring in a golden retriever at any point during any athletic competition after witnessing that? HE EVEN HAD HIS OWN SHIN GUARDS!!!
- But wait there’s more. I did some research of my own (Wikipedia) and the original Air Bud from the first two movies tragically died shortly after Air Bud: Golden Receiver presumably due to concussion-like symptoms (Goodell’s fault). This means that this wasn’t even a back-up dog goalie, but this was a THIRD-STRING back-up dog goalie. How could an underdog story like this just go unmentioned? Third string back-up dog goalie wins Women’s World Cup. This is essentially the Kurt Warner of dog goalies.
That’s all I have to say about the cinematic nightmare that was Air Bud: World Pup. I’m going to watch Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch now.
(This post is dedicated to the memory of Air Bud #2 who likely died sometime in between this post and the filming of the final Air Bud movie, Air Bud: Spikes Back. RIP Air Bud #2).