content

Divac’s Top Ten Worst NBA Hairstyles of the Millennium

0

The Cavaliers and Warriors are all set for Game 6 of the NBA Finals in Cleveland Thursday night which means Iman Shumpert is all set to once again display one of the worst NBA hairstyles in recent memory.

I mean, it’s a bad look. That’s all that can be said. He looks like a poodle. It’s not the worst NBA hairstyle of this millennium so far though. Not even close.

10. Andre Miller

dre.JPG

Brent Wojahn, The Oregonian

True story. Andre “Naismith” Miller was actually a first round draft pick in the Revolutionary War. He’s that old. Since he has played in the NBA since it’s inception in 1947, Miller has had plenty of time to experiment with his hair. This particular experiment was a disaster.

Hair Doppelganger: Chris Tucker in Fifth Element

9. Jason Kidd

Jason Kidd

tumbler.com

Jason Kidd briefly dyed his hair blonde in 2000. It was terrible.

Hair Doppelganger: N’Sync Justin Timberlake

8. Danny Fortson 

Jeff Reinking/Getty Images

I haven’t even thought about Danny Fortson in probably 12 years. I most recall him for being that guy whose card always seemed to pop-up in a pack of Topps 1998.

I swear, I think I have 25 duplicates of this card. You could always count on Danny Fortson being in a pack of Topps 1998. It may have been a company requirement.

Hair Doppelganger: Laurence Maroney’s mugshot or mid-life Coolio.

7. Chris Kaman

commons.wikimedia.org

Chris Kaman is thousands of years old and born of powerful and untested magic. He is one of the most feared creatures in all of Westeros.

Hair Doppelganger: A White Walker

6. Luis Scola

Luis Scola looks like he accidentally glued his hair to his head.

Hair Doppelganger: That time Cory Matthews tried to straighten his hair in Boy Meets World.

5. Ron Artest AKA Metta World Peace

While with the Lakers, Metta died his hair blonde and purple and wrote “defense” in Hebrew, Hindi, and Japanese. If you don’t remember this, it’s because it got overshawdowed by all the other crazy s*** he’s done over the years. This was actually very normal as far as Metta is concerned.

Hair Doppelganger: A dreidel

4. Andrew Bynum

Stephen M. Falk/Philly.com

While in the NBA, Andrew Bynum made a name for himself as a hair butcher. This was bad. And so was his Albert Einstein look. He recently showed up at the NBA Finals looking like Sisqo.

I think this look with the Sixers though was his worst ever. He legitimately looks like he’s growing a mushroom out of his head. This is a character you pick in Mario Kart, not a NBA player.

Hair Doppelganger: Toad

3. Vladimir Radmanovic

Jeff Reinking/Getty Images

The mid-2000’s Seattle Supersonics had some hair problems. Maybe this is why they decided to re-locate the team to Oklahoma City.

As for Vladimir Radmanovic, he was a really fun video game player. There was just something great about stroking threes from the corner with some 6’10” Bosnian with a strange name in NBA 2K and then witnessing your opponent get more and more frustrated with each contested three-pointer he made. That still doesn’t excuse him for sporting one of the worst NBA hairstyles of this millennium. I can’t even begin to imagine what was going on in the mind of Vlad Rad when he decided to do this, but he may have served as an inspiration for teammate Danny Fortson.

Hair Doppelganger: Fourth grade girl who just came back from a winter break vacation to Barbados

2. Brad Miller 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHo1BInGGAw

I can’t believe this isn’t the worst NBA hairstyle of this millennium. This is Vlad Rad on steroids. This is what little Latvian kids do when they want to imitate their favorite NBA player. Brad Miller seems like an innocent enough 2000s white NBA player from Bumblef***, Indiana who somehow managed to make two NBA all-star games. That’s what he seems like on the surface.

However, Miller has made some of the most mind-boggling cosmetic decisions in the history of the NBA with cornrows being exhibit A and a Scrappy- Doo tattoo being exhibits B-Z.

Hair Doppelganger: Kenny Powers

1. Carlos Boozer

Image result for carlos boozer hair

YouTube

When you spray hair on to your head, you top this list. There’s just nothing more to add. Here’s the glorious interview of Carlos Boozer talking about the time he sprayed hair on his head:

https://www.facebook.com/HighlyQuestionable/videos/967724149953931/

Hair Doppelganger: A Lego Man

Share.

About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of Leaveit2divac.com. He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.