The University of Georgia secured Ludacris to perform at their spring game on April 13 and paid $65,000 for him to do so for 13 minutes. That doesn’t even include the cost of Ludacris’ concert rider which the Georgia Bulldogs’ AD later apologized for. This via the Athens Banner-Herald:
Greg McGarity trumpeted the success of an SEC record spring game attendance at G-Day on Thursday under first-year coach Kirby Smart, but he also took a moment when addressing the UGA athletic board of directors for the first time since then to offer an apology.
McGarity, finishing his sixth year as Georgia athletic director, never mentioned directly the fallout from the rider as part of its contract with musical act Ludacris, but those in the board room at the Ritz-Carlton Lodge at Reynolds Plantation undoubtedly knew what he was talking about.
“I do want to take this opportunity to apologize to our board for mistakes we made with certain aspects of the details of an entertainment agreement,” McGarity said. “Few things in my professional life have bothered me more than this situation. There are no reruns in life so we need to turn the page, learn from our mistakes and do everything we can to make sure errors of this nature do not reoccur.
“Few things in my professional life have bothered me more than this situation.” Well, that sounds rather ominous. Let’s take a look:
I too am bothered by Luda’s choice in peanut butter (real men go chunky), but there are really no apologies necessary. This is an impressive list. We’ve got Greek yogurt, we’ve got Trojan Magnum condoms (obviously Magnum), we’ve got batteries, we’ve got Patron, we’ve got juice boxes, we’ve got Cognac, we’ve got scented candles, but most importantly … we’ve got Fruit Roll-Ups.
Huge surprise that no flavor of Fruit Roll-Ups was specified. Plus money bettors on no Fruit Roll-Up specification rejoice. Ludacris even specified the brand of his drying towels/wash cloths (Wamsutta, great brand, super soft, I once bought Wamsutta sheets from Bed Bath). No specification on Fruit Roll-Ups though.
To me, the lack of specification says that Ludacris is cool with all the flavors so I’d be going straight for the Blastin’ Berry Hot Colors variety pack if I were buying for Luda. You’re getting ten rolls of four different colors that are all phenomenal. I used to eat the ones that had like Hey Arnold or Rugrats characters on them and you were supposed to peel them off or something, but everybody knows you just shove the whole roll in your mouth and then you’ll realize ten seconds later that you left some of the plastic on especially if it was a hot day and your mom didn’t pack the portable ice pack thing in your lunch. You would have to either try pulling it back out or just say f*** it and eat it with the plastic on. I’m pretty sure the plastic was edible though so it didn’t really matter. Not pretty sure, it definitely was or else millions of kids would have died.
Back to Luda, some big takeaways here:
- Luda loves his PB&J’s and not just regular old PB&J’s, organic PB&J’s with bread that has maximum amounts of grains. What’s the over/under on grains in Luda’s bread loaf? I’ll set it at 12.5. I’m going to guess he either had a 12 or 13-grain bread loaf. Seems logical.
- He’s going low sodium. Low sodium V8. Unsalted trail mix. Unsalted almonds. Something to note here though. We’ve got “1 fresh unsalted almonds” and then “1 can of almonds.” This is confusing. Are the almonds in the can like years old? Are those not fresh as well? Do almonds expire? What is considered fresh almonds? And why does he need so many goddamn almonds???
- Luda requested Conjure Cognac which is noteworthy because it’s HIS OWN BRAND OF COGNAC! Absolutely brilliant. Make other people buy your own brand of alcohol for you to drink. That’s a businessman.
- Based on the extensive liquor selection and gallon of cranberry and orange juice, it seems that Luda may have had some guests and that they got pretty lit. The liquor (and probably the condoms) is what the AD was probably referring to when he made his apology. I guess it’s OK to give all this s*** (and more in Louisville’s case) to student-athletes under the table, but a grown-man rapper … nope, unacceptable. Need to issue an apology. How about issuing this statement instead? “If Ludacris wants a goddamn elephant in his room then that’s what he’s going to get because he’s Ludacris and he gets what he wants for performing at our s***** spring game.” That’s a statement I would respect.
That’s all I got. Time to rollout.