CLEVELAND – RG3 is reportedly already getting on his Browns teammates nerves just a week after signing a contract to play in Cleveland in 2016. According to head coach Hue Jackson, the annoyance mainly stems from Robert Griffin III’s activity on social media.
“It’s been bad,” Jackson said. “I keep having this nightmare of Robert following me around the sideline, asking if me if I’ve liked his Instagram pic yet.”
According to sources with the Browns, RG3 has been extremely annoying from the get-go. The first thing he did after signing was send friend requests to the entire team on Facebook, even the ball boys.
“No I haven’t accepted his friend request,” said one white quarterback battling for the starting job with RG3 who isn’t Austin Davis, but preferred to remain anonymous. “I won’t follow him back on Twitter either.”
Another Browns player mentioned that he had to un-follow Griffin because he was tweeting out hundreds of quinoa recipes because Griffin is apparently a “huge health nut now” and “wants to hit up every vegan restaurant in Cleveland before training camp starts.” RG3 is reportedly nervous though that they “won’t be on Foursquare.”
There’s no word on the status of RG3’s Myspace profile, but it probably exists.
(NOTE: Other than the information that has links attached to it, this story is completely fictional (well, at least PROBABLY fictional) and is only designed to be enjoyed as “satire.” However, the use of this to test others’ gullibility is not discouraged in any way.)