Anthony Davis suffers ankle sprain jogging to file taxes at H&R Block, out indefinitely


NEW Orleans — The injury-riddled New Orleans Pelicans received more bad news Wednesday morning as star forward Anthony Davis is out indefinitely after suffering a right ankle sprain while jogging to file his taxes at H&R Block. Despite tax day still being 40 days away, Davis decided to get a head start on his tax filings and jog over to a New Orleans-area H&R Block with a tax professional.

A frustrated Anthony Davis spoke with reporters at Wednesday morning’s shootaround before the Pelicans game in Charlotte.

“It was a freak thing. I was running across some field with my tax professional to H&R Block and just went down. I must have stepped on a root or something.”

This season has been an up-and-down one for Davis who was expected by many to take a giant leap into NBA super-stardom. Davis has drawn ire from Pelicans’ fans and fantasy basketball owners alike as he has suffered a multitude of injuries this year. Many have come in the middle of a game which has prompted the NBA to look into introducing the new injury classification of “quarter-to-quarter” as “day-to-day” has been unable to keep up with Davis.

When pressed as to why Davis felt the need to run across uneven terrain to file his taxes with over a month to spare, Davis stated that he was “just trying to stay one step ahead of the game” and that he “gives 110% effort” into everything he does.

Should Davis be forced to miss extended time, veteran center Kendrick Perkins would be in line for extended minutes. However, head coach Alvin Gentry hinted that playing with four men on the court is a possibility as “Kendrick would probably just get in everyone’s way.”

(NOTE: Other than the information that has links attached to it, this story is completely fictional (well, at least PROBABLY fictional) and is only designed to be enjoyed as “satire.” However, the use of this to test others’ gullibility is not discouraged in any way.)


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Tech start-up analyst by day, sports enthusiast by night. Commissioner Gordon uses his undying love of sports and cutting edge predictive analytic tools to gain a competitive edge on absolutely no one. Living his life in a perpetual state of sarcasm -- Commissioner Gordon is tall, handsome, and struggles to communicate with average-to-short sized individuals when in a large crowd.