Zero Pucks Given: Ovechkin gets 500, Oilers score hat-trick on themselves, Panthers declawed


Jagr is getting older and Getzlaf is getting balder…that’s why The Turkatron was sent back in time from the future…in Canada, to be your hockey specialist. Each week highlighting all you need to know in the world of puck.

Oh baby, I love seeing Ovechkin get the recognition he deserves as the best goal scorer of his generation. Atta boy Ovi! He knotched goals No. 500 and 501 on Sunday becoming the fifth fastest player to do so. Ovechkin is 30 years old and still scores in the most unbelievable of ways. Look at the filth on goal 501, and the goal for 500 was just a clean snipe. I can’t help but imagine the goofy Russian as the star of Space Jam 2. Wouldn’t that be great to see him mumble bad English for two hours with the Looney Tunes? I know I’d pay to see that.

SpOiler’s: Edmonton Oilers…what are we going to do with you? Besides the onslaught of coaches and GMs who have tried mending this franchise’s woes and besides getting 4/6 of the past #1 overall picks in the draft and besides currently being in last place in the West, life still manages to get worse for the Oilers. Last Friday’s game against Tampa Bay seemed to be rock-bottom for this team which has been in rock-bottom mode for over six years. Carrying a 2-0 lead in the third period against the Lightning, Edmonton proceeded to allow a goal off one of their own players, commonly referred to as an “own goal”. So it is now 2-1, what happens next? Another own goal, 2-2. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times? That’s the Oilers. Yes they gave up a third own goal to give the Lightning a lead of 3-2 which would stand as the final score. How on Earth can a professional sports team give up three own goals in one period!?!? That’s a hat-trick folks! Edmonton scores a hat-trick…on themselves! It’s baffling to me until I remember that this is the Edmonton Oilers were talking about. Yikes…it truly doesn’t get more pathetic than Edmonton.

Cat Scratch Fever: Jaromir Jagr scored a goal in a win Sunday night against the Oilers to make it twelve straight wins for the Florida club. However, the streak came to a halt last night in overtime at the hands of Bobby Lou’s old team, the Vancouver Canucks. Florida still managed a point in this one as it went to OT and Jagr picked up an assist as the grizzly vet continues to produce. Daniel Sedin scored the GWG tying Markus Naslund as the leading goal scorer in Canucks history. Congrats to Daniel on being a robot, cybernetically programmed to score goals, and having no emotion. Also, congrats on being a human punching bag, keep your eyes on #22.



About Author

Leave it to a Canadian to cover hockey. Turkatron is a sports fanatic and world-class Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey player who often fantasizes about Tom Brady on skates. Known to drop the gloves with his critics and sue the neighbors for stealing his hockey puck, the creator of “Zero Pucks Given” is one crazy Canuck whose opinions and views are sure to stir some pots.