Zero Pucks Given: Tootoo with the TKO, Kane continues streak in loss, Stars roll


Skynet is preparing a massive war on Hockey, if you don’t keep up with the NHL we may never see a puck drop ever again… that’s why The Turkatron was sent back in time from the future…in Canada, to be your hockey specialist. Each week highlighting all you need to know in the world of puck.

Holy smokes! Fighting is on the decline so it’s a treat for us hockey fans to see a fight like this go down. The Nunavut native Jordin Tootoo with the haymaker in last nights Devils v. Canes game. Brad Malone…you got knocked the f**k out! You don’t fight Eskimos! Oh ya, Devils win 5-1 (Skip to 0:55 for the reverse angle)

What Kane’t he do?: How bout Patty Kane, eh folks? I talk about him a lot and I know the Sens won this game but who cares, how impressive is Kane’s point streak? Good enough for best streak by a Blackhawk. Take note Ottawa Senators, don’t give this guy this much time and space…he’s scored a few times before.

Preyin’ on the Preds: The Predators look really bad lately. I’ve seen a few highlight reel saves from Rinne, but those don’t show up on the win column. Panthers get the dub despite only firing 16 shots…come on boys pull it together! Filthy save by Rinne though…

Oshie’s Story: His crew doesn’t consist of Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach but T.J Oshie is loving life along side Ovechkin and Backstrom. Oshie buried twice last night to extend the Caps win streak to six games. I think this is the team to beat in the east with Montreal struggling to stay afloat without Carey Price. Might be time for the French-Canucks to put down their poutine…and give it to me! Yum.

Star Power: Valeri Nichushkin (say that ten times really fast) got his Christmas gift early this year by being promoted to the lethal top line featuring Art Ross winner Jamie Benn and his sidekick Tyler Seguin (or is Benn the sidekick? Who knows, this is a classic double Batman situation). He managed a goal and an assist in the win, his dish was good enough to crack the Zero Pucks Given highlight reel…an honorable feat in itself.

Because, who cares?: Red Wings beat the Coyotes 5-1 to capture points in nine straight. Dubnyk shuts out the Leafs (pretty sure I could do that), and Rangers fall to the Avs in King Henriks night off. Get it? Got it? Good.


About Author

Leave it to a Canadian to cover hockey. Turkatron is a sports fanatic and world-class Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey player who often fantasizes about Tom Brady on skates. Known to drop the gloves with his critics and sue the neighbors for stealing his hockey puck, the creator of “Zero Pucks Given” is one crazy Canuck whose opinions and views are sure to stir some pots.