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The Informer’s 2015 NFL Picks: Week 12

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The Informer is assuming everyone is either hungover from a three day bender, stuffed to the gords with turkey, knocked up or broke from all the great Black Friday deals; so because we are all feeling the effects of the holiday festivities The Informer figured today we would keep things short and sweet while handing his Week 12 NFL Picks.

Please enjoy.

THANKSGIVING THURSDAY

PHILADELPHIA @ DETROIT (-3)

CAROLINA @DALLAS (PK)

CHICAGO @ GREEN BAY (-8.5)

Here is what The Informer tweeted out on Thanksgiving morning . . .

Here are five additional thoughts from the Thursday action . . .

5. How in the hell does the first half under not hit in a game that finished 17-13? Talk about a bad beat to start the week.

4. The first half under in Primetime is now 27-8 on the season. In other words it is still by far the best bet in the history of organized illegal gambling.

3. If The Informer ever tries to bet Matt Sanchez on the road again you all have permission to kick him square in the d***

2. Drunk Jay Cutler is bae.

1. Tom Brady is still the 2015 NFL MVP. With that said; Cam Newton has officially closed the gap and is a legitimate threat to win the award.

NEW ORLEANS @ HOUSTON (-3.5)

MIAMI @ NEW YORK JETS (-4)

San DIEGO @ JACKSONVILLE (-5)

OAKLAND @ TENNESSEE (PK)

The Informer will be betting all four road teams in these dumpster fires under the “when you have two shitty teams you take the points” rule. And yes The Informer realizes the Raiders are not technically getting points, but the fact that they are a pick em on the road is basically the same thing.

Pick: Saints (+3.5) Dolphins (+4) Chargers (+5) & Raiders (PK)

MINNESOTA @ ATLANTA (-2.5)

The Informer has no idea what is wrong with the Falcons, but until something drastically changes with this team they should not be favored over Adrian Peterson and the soon to be NFC Central leading Minnesota Vikings.

Pick: Vikings (+2.5)

ST LOUIS @ CINCINNATI (-9)

Nick Foles on the road against a desperate Bengals team? No thanks.

Pick: Bengals (-9)

Tampa Bay @ INDIANAPOLIS (-3)

As the old saying goes, you don’t hassle the Hoff Back.

dont-hassel-the-hoff-t-shirt

Pick: Colts (-3)

NEW YORK GIANTS @ WASHINGTON (+2.5)

Did you know Kirk Cousins is 4-1 at home this season? Did you also know the last time Washington was a 2.5 point home dog against an NFC East for the boat-raced the Eagles by 30 points?

Doesn’t that sound like a gambling trend a guy shouldn’t pass up?

Pick: Washington (+2.5)

BUFFALO @ KANSAS CITY (-5.5)

This is going to be a low scoring defensive game played in crap weather which means The Informer has no choice but to grab the points.

Pick: Bills (+5.5)

ARIZONA @ SAN FRANCISCO (+10)

Did you know Bruce Arians currently has a 69% winning percentage? Did you also know that means his percentage is the third best in NFL history behind only John Madden and Vince Lombardi? Not to bad for a guy the Pittsburgh Steelers wanted to retire because he was so old.

Pick: Cards (-10)

PITTSBURGH @ SEATTLE (-3.5)

The Informer thinks the Steelers offense is better than the HGHawks defense. For that reason, The Informer is grabbing the 3.5 points and riding the road Steelers.

Pick: Steelers (+3.5)

NEW ENGLAND @ DENVER (+ 3.5)

The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8!!!

Pick: Denver (+3.5) & First Half Under (u21.5)

BALTIMORE @ CLEVELAND (-1)

The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8 . . . The first half under in Primetime are 27-8!!!

Pick: Ravens (-1) & LKLOTW (u21)

That is a wrap for this week. Hopefully your Sunday will be filled with winning parlays, extra tall Natty Lights and all the free Blimpies the first half under in Primetime winnings can buy.

THE INFORMER’S 2015 PICKS RECORD:87-70-6 (Including Thanksgiving Day)

The Lion King Lock of the Week: 8-4

The First Half Under in Primetime: 27-8 (Including Thanksgiving Day)

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Since 2003 The Informer has written for newspapers, websites and blogs with one goal in mind: Write a funny and informative sports article unlike anything that has been written before.