Eddie Lacy (Thanksgiving dinner) ruled OUT for Thursday night vs. Bears


GREEN BAY – After leading the team in carries in Week 11, Green Bay Packers RB Eddie Lacy (Thanksgiving dinner) has been surprisingly ruled OUT for tonight’s Thanksgiving game against the Chicago Bears at Lambeau Field.

Lacy reportedly talked to coach Mike McCarthy Thursday morning and notified him that he just didn’t have the heart to miss Thanksgiving dinner. Lacy has been excused from the team and is currently en route to Grandma Lacy’s house in Gretna, Louisiana to enjoy a delicious Thanksgiving feast. Coach McCarthy supported the decision when addressing the media this afternoon:

“We talked about it this morning and I encouraged him to go,” said McCarthy who considered skipping tonight’s game as well to attend Thanksgiving dinner. “He hasn’t missed a Thanksgiving dinner in 25 years. I don’t want to be the one that stands in the way of his streak. The bottom line is that he can’t miss his grandma’s stuffing.”

Known as the ‘Thanksgiving Iron Man,’ Lacy has battled the flu and triple-digit degree temperatures on two different occasions during his 25-year streak. Back in 2007 which is now known as the “Flu Feast,” a sweat-drenched Lacy fought through intense symptoms to consume at least three turkey thighs with extra gravy and generous helpings of mashed potatoes and stuffing. Family members still rave about how he was “forced to head to the bathroom” mid-way through dinner and then “came back out like Willis Reed in the 1970 NBA Finals” to finish.

Lacy has had an extremely disappointing and injury-riddled season and he has been widely criticized for “being fat.” Lacy’s not letting that criticism stand in the way of his Iron Man streak:

“I wouldn’t leave the team unless I thought they were in good hands. James [Starks] is more than capable of leading this team in the backfield on Thanksgiving. I’ve talked to Aaron [Rodgers] as well as coach McCarthy and have their full support to pursue my dreams. We are all on the same page.”

Lacy will be the first player to miss a NFL game due to Thanksgiving festivities since Lions running back T.J. Duckett missed the 2007 Thanksgiving game because he over-ate the night before.

(NOTE: This story is completely fictional (well, at least PROBABLY fictional) and is only designed to be enjoyed as “satire.” However, the use of this to test others’ gullibility is not discouraged in any way.)


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Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.