New Detroit Lions president Rod Wood: “I’m probably not qualified to run any other team except this one”


Detroit Lions owner and chairman Marsha Firestone Ford recently named Rod Wood as the team’s new president after they pretty much fired everybody even remotely associated with the organization except for that Spongebob fish of a head coach, Jim Caldwell, who by all accounts is “alive and well” and somehow led the Lions to their first victory at Lambeau Field since the Soviet Union collapsed. This nearly caused Caldwell’s robot brain to trigger an emotion:

He got those arms up! The robot sensors in his brain couldn’t quite bring about a smile though. Oh well, maybe it will happen the next time they win at Lambeau 24 years from now.

Anyways, the Lions have named Rod Wood as their new president. Is this a good thing? I don’t know, let’s take a look. Here’s what the Lions press release had to offer:

“Most recently, Wood was hired as President and CEO of Ford Estates in 2007. From 1999 until his appointment at Ford Estates, Wood was Executive Vice President of Wealth Management for the Wilmington Trust Company in Wilmington, Del., a $400 million operation with 17 offices in eight states. Wood directed the company’s entire wealth management business nationally, and he managed the personal trust, financial planning, private banking, investment management, family office services and sales functions for the wealth advisory business of Wilmington Trust.

Prior to joining Wilmington Trust, Wood held an executive position with Comerica Bank where he oversaw 12 offices in four states.”

Very well, but does he know anything about football?

Oh boy.

Wood had more to offer regarding football:

I think my experience running successful Madden franchises makes me more qualified to run the Lions than this guy. I did develop Randy McMichael into a 92 overall tight end once.

2039 is going to be a fun year for Lions fans the next time they win at Lambeau.


About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.