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The Informer’s Mailbag: Daily Fantasy Is Gambling Edition & Thursday Night NFL Pick

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Unless you have been living in a box the past few days, you have no doubt seen the endless coverage on the state of New York declaring Daily Fantasy Sports illegal. Now, judging by the 24-7 non-stop coverage, it is fairly obvious that DFS is the only thing the internet wants to discuss.

Well . . . If DFS coverage is what the people want, then DFS coverage is what The Informer is going to give them.

So with that in mind, The Informer is going to use today’s article to answer some mailbags questions on the DFS subject before jumping into the Bills-Jets Week 10 Thursday Night showdown.

Please enjoy.

Q: Hey Informer, what is your take on Daily Fantasy Sports? Is it or is it not gambling?

In the words of Stone Cold Steve Austin, “hell yes” it is gambling. Listen, when you are putting up money on an unknown outcome for a chance to win more money, then you are gambling.

End of story.

Now is it stupid that states like New York and Iowa outlaw their citizens from playing DFS? Of course it is. But that does not change the fact that Daily Fantasy Sports is, was and always will be a form of gambling.

Q: But Informer this is a game of skill that involves research, algorithms, mathematical equations, film study, pattern reorganization and so much more nuance than a game like roulette; which is decided entirely on chance. I am sure if you were any good at DFS you would agree instead of trying to lump us in with the degenerate losers who spend all their time in a Casino hoping to strike it rich at the Pai Gow table.

When The Informer is making fake illegal wagers on NFL football games he does research, uses algorithms, looks up stats, tendencies, mathematical equations, watches film, and looks for certain patterns (like the first half under being 22-6 in Primetime) to give him the best chance at winning. So is The Informer breaking the law every Sunday? Or is he just playing a game of skill?

Q: That is stupid and ignorant Informer. Everyone knows betting on a football team to win or lose is all luck and absolutely should be considered gambling. But, picking a random lineup of players each week in the hopes they score a touchdown leading to loads of money is totally different and you know it. I mean you have salary caps, opposing teams and algorithms. How can you even compare the two?

Sam Jackson could you help out here please . . .

Seriously though, if The Informer hears the word algorithms one more damn time when people are trying to say DFS is a game of skill –there will be a riot. 

Q: You are a fat idiot Informer. You just don’t understand the world of Daily Fantasy Sports. Maybe if you took some time to learn all the components you would see that it is not gambling. Then you could quit being a moron and let us daily fantasy people play our games in peace. How do you feel about them apples you hillbilly?

You do realize name calling is not going to get The Informer to change his mind, right?

Q: Hey Informer, can you BOLIEVE Starbucks gave me a damn red solo cup? Are you as mad about this arbitrary red cup thingy as I am?

Not really sure what Starbucks has to do with Daily Fantasy Sports, but to answer the question with another question: Didn’t Toby Keith teach us to love all red solo cups?

Q: Informer how can all of us normal people who see Daily Fantasy Sports for what it is, a skill game that is in no way gambling and only a fat moron who couldn’t read would see otherwise, get Big Government out of our business?

First off, The Informer would recommend you stop telling complete strangers that they are overweight. Secondly, The Informer would advise you invent a machine that allows you to go back in time so you could tell Fanduel and DraftKings how stupid it would be to constantly run ads that have people bragging about winning thousands of dollars every single Sunday.

Q: So you are saying there is nothing we can do and that Daily Fantasy Sports are doomed? Is that it? Are we ever going to get to play Daily Fantasy Sports in peace again?

As someone who lost all of his money grew up during and loved the online poker boom, the answer to this question is “no.” Daily Fantasy Sports is currently living on borrowed time. Eventually some politician with a “moral compass” –like the guy in New York – will win an argument showing that DFS is in fact gambling and that will be the end of the fun.

Q:  So what are we supposed to do then Informer?

Well . . . Do you  know anyone named “Big Tuna” or “Sneaky Pete”? They could probably help you itch your “it’s a skilled game” needs. Whatever you do to scratch that itch, just make sure you don’t spend billions of dollars on commercials bragging about it.

Hey, speaking of fake illegal wagering; here is The Informer’s Thursday Night NFL Pick.

BUFFALO BILLS @ NEW YORK JETS (-3)

The Informer just totally jumped on the circled Buffalo Bills bandwagon (sorry Bills fans). With Tyrod “The Cannon” Taylor, Sammy Watkins, LeSean McCoy and rookie of the year dark horse Karlos Williams all finally healthy; this offense officially has the talent to make a late second half playoff push. And because The Informer is expecting a big second half from the Bills, that means The Informer absolutely loves the fact that he is getting three points in a game he is expecting the Bills to win outright.

Also, in case you were all wondering, The Informer will be following the “First half under is 22-6 in Primetime “rule and taking the first half under. Make sure you all do the same #BestBetInFootball.

Pick: Bills (+3) & First Half Under (21) 

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Since 2003 The Informer has written for newspapers, websites and blogs with one goal in mind: Write a funny and informative sports article unlike anything that has been written before.