The Schmozone QB Doghouse: “Dirty” Dan Orlovsky


Few individuals can say that they have been a starting quarterback in the National Football League. There are even fewer individuals that can say that they have been a quality starting quarterback in the National Football League. The Schmozone QB Doghouse is not for those individuals.

The Quarterback: Dan Orlovsky

Career Record: 2-10

Doghouse Highlight: Running out of the back of the end zone for no reason

Normally, most career backup quarterbacks like “Dirty” Dan Orlovsky would just fade into the abyss that his career backup quarterbackdom. Sure, they’re no good and you don’t want them in the game, but football’s a violent game and sometimes teams have no choice.

Dan Orlovsky is probably no worse than other career backups like “The Clipboard Jesus” Charlie Whitehurst or “The Polish Rocket” Bruce Gradkowski. Someone like Dirty Dan would not typically be relevant enough for Schmozone QB Doghouse occupancy the same way someone like J.T. O’Sullivan isn’t relevant enough.  We are not here to rag on the less fortunate who just go about their jobs holding clipboards and wearing baseball caps. However, Dirty Dan is an exception because of one singular moment that has survived the annals of quarterback history and this moment will continue to do so for the rest of eternity.

It was October 12, 2008. The Detroit Lions were in the midst of their 0-16 season and taking on the Minnesota Vikings at the Metrodome. Orlovsky would end up quarterbacking seven of those 16 losses. The Lions were backed up against their own end zone late in the 1st quarter when the unthinkable happened:

Look at him! He would still be running today if nobody had blown the whistle! This is what happens like in Madden or NFL Blitz when your controller gets stuck or something. This just doesn’t happen in real life!

If there’s any play that encapsulates the Schmozone QB Doghouse, this is it. This is the play that the Doghouse highlight reel leads off with….sh*t, the highlight reel probably would just be this play over and over again for ten straight hours. I will forever be grateful to Dan Orlovsky for doing what other quarterbacks were not brave enough to do….running out of the back of the end zone. This is the play that Dirty Dan is going to tell his grandchildren about. It’s going to be passed down the Orlovsky family tree for CENTURIES!

Sanchez’s butt fumble is close. It’s really close, but it still comes up a little short because that wasn’t completely his fault. It was more of an unfortunate occurence. However this….man, I challenge any quarterback out there to perform a more boneheaded, hysterical play than Dan Orlovsky running out of the back of the end zone. It would be a struggle to top it even if you were trying.

Now, Orlovsky is once again a backup for the Lions and even came into relieve Matthew Stafford of his interception-throwing ways during a game against the Cardinals this season. I’m sure Orlovsky took note of where that big white stripe was each and every snap. Here’s to the Dan Orlovsky Era:


About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.