Joel Embiid Can’t Stop Drinking Shirley Temples


Joel Embiid isn’t helping himself too much. The 3rd overall pick by the Philadelphia 76ers in 2014 out of Kansas hasn’t played a minute in the NBA due to a broken right foot that has been unable to heal and required two rounds of surgery.

Following a second round of surgery, Embiid will once again sit out the upcoming NBA season. According to this report by, the 76ers believe the second round of surgery may have been required because Embiid really didn’t give a sh*t about his rehab.  Basically, he didn’t wear his walking boot enough and despite the 76ers insistence that he not go, Embiid attended the NBA summer league in Vegas for 10 days in order to party. While there, he refused to wear his walking boot and was seen shooting jumpers and even dunking. So there is now belief that Embiid just may have re-broken his foot due to his insubordination instead of it just “not healing properly.”

That’s not the story though because we are all resigned to the fact that Embiid will never be healthy nor an effective NBA player as are the Sixers who currently have like 15 players over 7 feet tall on their active roster to make up for Embiid’s lack of presence. His dietary habits are sooooooo much better, particularly his Shirley Temple obsession:

“Per a source, the Sixers’ training staff was so concerned about what he was eating, they stocked the refrigerator in his downtown hotel residence each week with healthy food. When a staffer went to restock the fridge each week, most everything was uneaten and unopened, and they were throwing out the fruits and vegetables every week. When the team subsequently asked to see Embiid’s room service bill, they found that most days he was ordering junk food along with his signature beverage, a pitcher of Shirley Temples. Embiid also was frequently seen feasting on chicken fingers and hot dogs at and after games.”

SOURCES EVERYONE! According to “my” sources, I haven’t had a Shirley Temple since I was 13 and attending Bar-Mitzvahs. Embiid though is drinking them BY THE PITCHER! In Embiid’s defense, they are pretty good.

Also, he was eating chicken fingers and hot dogs AT the game? What, was he having like the ushers deliver them to him on the bench?

I don’t think Joel Embiid is gonna make it, guys.


About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.