Roy Hibbert’s on the Lakers Now And He’s Still a Big Goon


The NBA season is still 20 days away and Roy Hibbert, now with the Lakers, is already pissing people off. Last night’s preseason game between the Jazz and Lakers was highlighted by a “fight” between Trevor Booker and Hibbert. Just check out the carnage that ensued:

That’s an NBA fight if I’ve ever seen one! It starts with Julius Randle setting some type of moving screen/body bumping exhbition on Booker who retaliates with a well-deserved shove of Randle. That seems like a good place for everything to end, but WAIT! Here come’s Roy Hibbert to clean everything up like he’s a goddamn janitor.

Hibbert does his fake tough guy routine by getting in the face of Booker in order to endear himself to his new Laker teammates and Booker just can’t resist whacking that big goon upside the head (and then of course moonwalking back like he’s Michael F*cking Jackson which happens to be a staple of all present-day NBA melees.) Hibbert gets that big, goofy “I can’t believe he just slapped me” look on his face followed by a villainous Stephen A. Smith-like smirk as he pretends to try to approach Booker. My favorite part is how f*cking funny Alec Burks thinks this circus act is as he just can’t stop smiling while “holding” Hibbert back. Julius Randle then walks Hibbert back to the bench and just keeps slapping his *ss for some reason…..not sure what the deal is there.

If you can’t tell, I’m not a big fan of Roy Hibbert. The most noteworthy things he’s ever done are make a couple cameos on Parks and Recreation (although he was completely outshined by the great DETLEF SCHREMPF) and drink Gatorade in like four seconds. It’s laughable to think that it was just TWO SEASONS AGO that Roy Hibbert was considered to be the closest thing to a “LeBron stopper” in the NBA when the Heat and Pacers met in the 2013 Eastern Conference Finals due to his ability to be 7’2 while raising arms and moving his feet simultaneously. You wouldn’t think that being 7’2 could go into a slump, but it apparently did. In 2014, Hibbert was an Eastern Conference All-Star and then for reasons still unknown, completely disappeared in the season’s second half which were punctuated with some of the worst playoff performances you’ll ever see from a current All-Star (four straight scoreless postseason games….that’s a record for any current NBA All-Star.)

He quickly became an NBA punchline. #RoyHibbertIsMoreUselessThan was trending on Twitter which varied from stoplights in Grand Theft Auto to Magikarp to a Goldeen poke ball in Super Smash Bros. Gilbert Arenas couldn’t stop trolling him on Instagram and it was hilarious. This became the best way to describe his presence on the Pacers bench:


He even faked his OWN KIDNAPPING! (OK, so maybe I made that up, but it’s believable). Hibbert has now resurfaced with the Lakers for the upcoming season after being traded there for a future second-round draft pick which seems like an awfully high price for a guy that may or may not be an upgrade over Robert Sacre. While Hibbert wasn’t always terrible, he’s always been an over-dramatic and extremely animated goofball that just gets under the skin of opposing players and fans. It appears nothing has changed heading into his first season with the Lakers. This should be fun.


About Author

Divac is the Editor-In Chief of The Schmozone and founder of He is a fantasy sports maniac with terrible gambling habits and has a strange, irrational obsession with everything that is NBA legend Vlade Divac. Divac will be posting his outrageous commentary on daily sports topics in "The Daily Flop" section and one day dreams of being re-born as a mediocre Eastern European NBA journeyman.